101 Ways To Die: Head Over Heels, Or At Least It’s Supposed To Be

Hello Fiends,

Here is another excerpt from a little book of death poems I am working on called ‘101 Ways To Die, Accidents, Murders, And Other Techniques To Lose A Life.’ I wrote this back in May when I was watching a prom couple enjoying a fancy meal at the five star restaurant know as McDonald’s.

Head Over Heels, Or At Least It’s Supposed To Be

Such a special event
The night of your prom
Perfect hair, perfect dress
Just try to remain calm

The butterflies take flight
Everything feels so new
Tonight you’re a princess
Fairy tales do come true

A long black limousine
Parked right outside
Never thought he would ask
Now you sit by his side

As you sail down the road
The sunroof retracts
You jump to your feet
Peek your head out the gap

The starry night sky
As beautiful as can be
Up ahead by the road
Stands a low hanging tree

Once you notice the branch
It’s much too late to stop
It collides with your skull
Ripping your head clean off

Thanks for reading,
~Curtis Rx

47 Responses to 101 Ways To Die: Head Over Heels, Or At Least It’s Supposed To Be

  1. MindlessZombie

    Does it make me a terrible person if I laughed so hard at the end my sides started to hurt? I hope not. Well, at least it’s a night her date’ll never forget!

  2. kau

    well… I just come here and ah news.. so sweet ah? I think about it now… here is not in this way… and well I not been to my prom ahahaha a rebel! awesome guy…. the end gave me 2 interpretation…….. hum well… the girls like princess in this day… is very like a perfect land… and some days after, caboom the things change or not? and the same time is fun… well I just think is fun… o.O I dont know… is very diferent here. Butterflies is always magic to show perfection and in stomach is great.. blow the brain the scene ah? the sweet kids of the past.

  3. Ira Paul

    You are a cruel man XD But this can easily happen on various other road trips while riding a car with a folding top,right?
    There was sure something wrong with your prom… =)

  4. Oh, that’s just not right …
    funny as hell … but just not right!
    hehe =P

  5. NeonV.

    This is very funny, in a sick twisted kind of way.
    Very clever & very awesome. I loved it!

  6. Natalee

    Not to be wierd and disturbed but I actually laughed haha
    I love the stuff you write…

  7. Sami Cyanide

    Thank you so much for such a hearty laugh. I always feel like a bad person when I laugh at your ghoulish humor, but I can’t help it! The image is so wonderful. I will be first in line to buy your book of poems, sir.

    love and zombies, – cyanide.

  8. Frankenmegan

    That’s why you shouldn’t stand up in limos, people.

    Loved it. 😀

  9. I feel kinda mean by writing this:
    See if something like that happened back in my Senior Prom, I wouldn’t have been so bored.

  10. eepshyes

    that made me smile.

  11. Morticia

    haha, that´s awesome. I wish I could write as good poems as you…
    but at least I feel inspired to draw a comic of this poem now.

  12. Colin

    i have no idea why this is as funny as it is but i love it

  13. Mandieville666

    ha ha i wish that happened at either of my proms. woud’ve been way more fun/interesting.

  14. JackHammer_MFZB

    hee hee

  15. Geekyjems

    greatest poem ever, mcdonalds is soo awesome

  16. Miss_Lovecraft

    Ah, this makes me so excited for my prom. Can’t wait.

  17. Psyhco Ghoul

    Does it make me a bad person to laugh at this? I love the stuff you write….
    It’s definatly a night to remember! Blood on the concrete, a rotting head on the ground…. such great memories…..

  18. John_Chapman

    If you were to create a chorus for this, it’d make a fucking brilliant song :) *hint hint*

  19. Maci3_foo

    utterly flippin beautiful man… if i could hand you a reward for this a rubber would be heading ur way

  20. Andrea Zzz

    Wow, I really like this one! So sweet and twisted
    Great Job :)
    I think I shall draw something like this. *thinks*
    I shall!
    Thanks for the inspiration!

  21. Polli

    It’s very-very good, shall I translate it into Russian?

  22. That illicited a monstrous giggle, haha!

  23. Krista

    It reminds me of an opening to an episode of six feet under, only the woman was newly divorced and out “painting the town red”, or at least a street sign, If you get what I mean.

  24. Grim Grisly

    I will buy your book.
    I will buy it and sleep with it by my side.
    I laughed so hard.

  25. Phantasmagorical

    Amazing. Brilliant. Marvellous. Extremely entertaining.
    Sir, as an avid reader of the macabre, I’d list your name among Poe and Gorey anyday.

  26. Kei.

    A real piece of poetry here. Really made me laugh considering I was talked into going to prom last year, I could hardly gag my way through.
    I’d love to link this in my blog sometime, if I may~

  27. ZombieAsylum

    Dearie if this book of poems does not get published i’d have to kill all the critics :]

  28. Sister Strange

    This is absolutely delieghtful! This made me laugh very, very hard. :]

  29. GrayZombie

    you are sick, i love it.

  30. MasqueradeDoll

    that’s just perfect, love it.

  31. Reika

    usually when I read a story i get vivid mental images of what i’m reading…yours are my favorite to read. :] keep it up, i’ll keep reading. maybe if CF makes it’s way to desolate Pueblo West, CO i’ll see you guys.

  32. Delly XD

    well thats just lovely… XD

  33. Amber

    Romantic, actually rather funny, so fascinated with it all she done lost her head!

  34. Amber

    Oh! you must inform me of when this delightful book is to be published so as I can buy up a copy to feed my dark mind with. It is always hungry for more and your stories are perfect meal.

  35. Megan-

    Wow. Okay. I love this. I laughed my ass off at the end! Great work, this is genius. (:

  36. 6

    That, dear sir, is a hilarious way to go.

  37. Hah!
    Nothing satisfys my cravings for ghoulish written masterpieces like yours, dear sir. You are a certified genius.

  38. Draven Belmont

    I love this poem! It starts, as I imagine, the way a girl would feel on prom night, and ends the way a guy who doesn’t get laid on prom wishes it would! I laughed at it then realized the poor bastard in the limo just saw his date die!! That would suck, but he could still make love to her, isn’t that right Curtis?

  39. Jess

    I cant stop laughing at this!
    I’m a horrible person.
    Great job!

  40. Razorblade Kiss

    Ahaha, lolz.

  41. Alesia

    I got to say, this is one of your best works.

  42. DemonChild1313

    At first I was wondering,”Oh dear god this is saccharine for Curtis”and then i read the last part.I nearly exploded because i was trying to keep my sick laugh inside.

  43. Julie

    XD that made me laugh

  44. Angela

    Me in the beginning: Ha, McDonald’s, totally five stars. *giggles*
    Me at the final line: *dies of laughter and rolls on the floor in a deadly fit of hysteria as I slowly fade away*
    Now I know what I’m going to be reading at my prom, if they’ll let me, that is.

  45. NearlyDeparted

    I laughed way too hard at this, now my friend is looking at me like i’m so psycho. Which is probably true. :)

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