In Ohio, a 28-year-old man tried to rob to the owner of a convenience store for selling him subpar beef jerky that gave himself and his dog an upset stomach. The owner under attack instantly recognized the robber as the resident barber who works only two doors down from the convenience store and chased him away with a baseball bat. The culprit was easily apprehended since the arresting officer had received numerous haircuts from the barber-turned-robber in the past.
Harken Strangers! So you’ve come here on this dark and stormy night to hear my dastardly little tale. Let me begin by saying, that no matter how shocking it may seem, every crimson ounce of it is true. I am an advocate of mischief and a creator of turmoil. I compose ghastly music based on eerie circumstance and delightful tragedy in the band Creature Feature and the band Rufus Rex. I direct strange films depicting ill-fated events and ghoulish irony. I am a writer of the macabre, as opposed to a revolver, I use a sharpened pencil to displace my brains. I gently squeeze the trigger and splatter the page with metaphor. Read, watch, and listen, you never know what wonderful terrible things you might unearth.
If you enjoy my website and like what I do, please donate toward my film projects, they desperately need it.
8 Comments
aah theres nothing more american than processed meats and outrageous anger over trivial matters…
that poor dog..
geez it’s not the owner’s fault for his sensetive stomach! i bet he drunk just like the coconut guy!
o.O Oh my, some plants can help the stomach of poor dog.
and problems ah.
That barber should’ve tried Sweeney Todd’s way of handling problems haha
Ah, yes. The sanity of some people. It seems to be drifting from all of us these days. Pretty soon there’ll be no sane people left. Then again, it could have already happened. We could all be insane, but unlike this man, some of us just choose not to show it.
somehow i think sweeney todd would have handled that better.
eeep!