In Pittsburgh PA, two teens thought they had the perfect robbery planned out for fun-filled weekend which would result in a quick and easy influx of cold, hard cash and the envy of their other delinquent friends. They had planned to dress up like ninjas to disguise their identities and with a single machete between them, they would to force the lone cashier of their local liquor store to empty up his register. With a bag full of cash in-hand they would disappear scot-free into the night, all with the power of ninja stealth. What these teenage moron ninja turtles didn’t anticipate was that the cashier on duty was a trained swordsman who just happened to have something special in-store for anybody dumb enough to challenge him. As one of the would-be robbers cornered the cashier behind the checkout counter, the cashier quickly responded by unveiling his trusty samurai sword cleverly concealed beneath the register. With a single strike, he masterfully knocked the machete out of the robber’s hand, and chased them both out of the store. The only thing these teenage ninjas proved was that their ninja training mainly consisted of running away from things.
Quotes From The Mouth Of Madness
After years of toiling in our cellar laboratory I’ve finally perfected my invisibility potion, but now I can’t seem to find it anywhere.
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