Villains & Vaudevillians » Weird News

It’s Amazing What You Find Between The Cushions Of A Sofa!

curtisrx — Sun, 04 Jul 2010 22:50:39 +0000

In England, a cleaning service was tidying up an apartment after the previous owner was evicted and stumbled upon a withered and fully clothed corpse hiding under a sofa. After an investigation, police discovered that the body had been hidden in the apartment for nearly 10 years before its discovery. The victim’s roommate, who suffered from severe learning disabilities, came home one night and found the victim dead on the floor after a night of hard drinking. Worried that he would be evicted from his apartment because of a strict no lodgers policy, the man decided to hide the body in his sofa. Police were called to the residence multiples times to investigate complaints of a strange odor emanating from the apartment, but never discovered the body because of the piles of garbage the man had been hoarding in every corner. The man continued with his day to day routine unfazed by the corpse slowly moldering in the depths of his sofa for a decade, until he was finally evicted.

The Dead Cat Is Out Of The Bag!

curtisrx — Tue, 20 Apr 2010 23:14:36 +0000

Hello Fiends,

The dead cat is out of the bag, Fearnet has the first scoop on the horror web series Ted Raimi and I are writing and producing. Check back in the weeks to come for more bloody news and click the banner below to read the full post:

Hope all is well,
~Curtis Rx

I’ve Got This Sinking Feeling In My Gut

curtisrx — Tue, 20 Apr 2010 02:18:41 +0000

Hello Fiends,

Here is another excerpt from a little book of death poems I am writing called ‘101 Ways To Die, Accidents, Murders, And Other Techniques To Lose A Life’. This little morsel involves our favorite Victorian serial killer with a penchant for organ removal. Enjoy!

I’ve Got This Sinking Feeling In My Gut

In the hours past midnight
Taking a shortcut home
Down a damp, dark alley
Chilled to the bone

A hard day on the job
Not the profession you think
A harlot, a whore
A woman of the streets

As the fog rolls in
Not a human in sight
The sound of footsteps
Fills your body with fright

A quick glance behind
But no one is there
Just your mind playing tricks
Then a shadow appears

You scream for help
Hope to be saved
Too fast, he’s upon you
With the glint of his blade

Away from prying eyes
Murder most foul
A slit across the throat
Then surgically disemboweled

Thanks for reading,
~Curtis Rx

PS. If you would like to read the other sinister poems I have posted from ‘101′ Ways To Die’, please click HERE.

Weekend At Bernie’s 3: The Four Year Term!

curtisrx — Sun, 18 Apr 2010 21:35:13 +0000

In Tennessee, one lucky councilman in the town of Tracy City finally achieved his livelong goal of becoming mayor, but there was just one hitch, he had died of a heart attack two weeks before the election. Even though the man was no longer living, that didn’t stop him from accumulating 268 votes, while his opponent received only 85. Local residents voted for the dead man in protest of the current mayor who, in strange twist of fate, was running for a second term after being appointed mayor when the previous one passed away. Until the city council appoints another new mayor, it seems that a dead man now holds office in the town of Tracy City.

Let Sleeping Corpses Lie!

curtisrx — Tue, 30 Mar 2010 20:10:26 +0000

In New York, police ticketed and eventually towed an illegally parked minivan sitting suspiciously outside a local funeral home, unaware that there was a body inside. The owner of the funeral home noticed that the van was missing the following afternoon and spent the day feverishly trying to track it down. Eventually he found the missing van at the local impound yard and had to explain to police that there was a body inside awaiting its flight home for a funeral. The mortuary placard on the van must have tipped over during the night and police believed the vehicle to be just another illegally park offender. After getting the van back, the funeral owner rushed the body to the airport just in time for its flight home. The impound yard waived the towing and storage fees, but the cost of the parking ticket still stands.

Elvis Has Left The Building, And He’s Headed To The Airport!

curtisrx — Wed, 24 Mar 2010 20:43:47 +0000

In London, a hacker wanted to prove to the world just how easy it is to fool a self-service passport scanner at the airport and was able to get clearance for a flight by using a fake passport issued to the King himself. Officials are claiming that the new passports being issued with biometric chips implanted in them that store facial, eye, and fingerprint maps of the user, are impossible to counterfeit, but one hacker wanted to prove otherwise. He created a false passport under the name of Elvis Presley and even made his own biometric chip with store bought supplies, all for less than a hundred dollars. The hacker also rigged it so a picture of Elvis would show up on the monitor display, proving the fact that the king of rock ‘n’ roll isn’t dead after all, he’s just doing some traveling.

In This Instance, It’s Okay To Cry Over Spilled Milk!

curtisrx — Thu, 11 Mar 2010 01:43:07 +0000

In Kentucky, A 31-year-old woman faces charges of third degree assault after attacking a female deputy with her breast milk. The woman, who was originally arrested on public intoxication charges, was transferred to a local detention center where she was told to change into her jail uniform. Unable to change on her own due to the alcohol in her system, a female deputy had to help the prisoner out of her clothing. While the deputy was distracted, the suspect took the opportunity to squeeze her breast and squirt a thick stream of breast milk into the deputy’s eyes. Since breast milk is considered bio-hazard, the deputy was quickly rushed away for decontamination. The suspect attempted a second attack with her projectile breast milk, but was unsuccessful.

Put A Fork In Him, He’s Done!

curtisrx — Wed, 10 Mar 2010 20:11:15 +0000

In California, A man was attacked with a meat thermometer and stabbed in the neck while watching a movie at his local theater. During the screening, the man told a woman sitting near him to shut off her cell phone because she was talking loudly and disturbing the other moviegoers. The unidentified woman grew furious after the verbal exchange and quickly exited the movie theater with two men in tow. After a few minutes passed, one of the men returned and stabbed the victim in the neck with a meat thermometer. The man then attacked two other patrons who tried to intervene before fleeing the scene. The victim has been hospitalized and the suspects are still on the loose.

Wait, Did You Mean My Left Or His?

curtisrx — Wed, 24 Feb 2010 20:12:31 +0000

In Peru, an 88-year-old man woke up from an emergency amputation only to discover that his healthy foot had been accidentally cut off instead of his damaged one. The man had gone into the hospital to treat an ulcer and when the infection began to spread, doctors had no choice but schedule an amputation for the infected foot. In an horrible turn of events, doctors severed the wrong foot instead and after they realized their unfortunate mistake, they had to move quickly to remove the damaged one to keep the infection from spreading further. The hospital learned of their mistake after the patient’s daughter lifted his sheets and discovered that they had removed the wrong foot. All doctors involved in the botched surgery have been put on indefinite suspension and a thorough investigation has been launched.

Here, Kitty Kitty!

curtisrx — Sun, 21 Feb 2010 22:49:11 +0000

In Rome, a 77-year-old well-known host of a popular Italian morning cooking show has been suspended after he told audiences on live television that he has eaten cat stew on a several different occasions—and loved it. Much to the shock of his 27-year-old female co-host, the man went on to say ‘Cat, soaked for three days in the running water of a stream comes out with its meat white and I assure you I have eaten it many times, that it is a delicacy’. Due the fact that Cats are protected by law in Italy and the taboo nature of his announcement, the television host has been put on indefinite suspension.