By curtisrx | Published:
February 10, 2010
In Berlin, a new breed of criminal was born after a man successfully robbed a video arcade using only a hot cup of coffee as his weapon. The man casually walked into the arcade, order the coffee, then threatened to hit the female employee over the head with it unless she opened up the register and handed over all the cash. Authorities believe that the robber probably hadn’t planned on committing a heist that night, but after noticing the young woman working alone, she became an easy target for him. It is unknown how much money the man made off with and police are worried about other would-be robbers committing similar crimes. The espresso bandit has successfully evaded capture and is still on the loose.
By curtisrx | Published:
December 22, 2009
In Michigan, a 52-year-old man with a 5-inch steak knife sticking out of his chest, walked into a Detroit diner and ordered a cup of coffee while he casually waited for the ambulance he called earlier to pick him up. He was attacked and stabbed a mile from the diner when he refused to hand over his wallet to a would-be mugger. After the man failed at trying to find help in a nearby apartment complex, he called 911 from a pay phone and told them to just meet him at a hamburger stand down the street. Then, with the knife lodged in his chest all the way up to the handle, the man strolled a mile to the diner, enjoyed a nice hot cup of coffee, and even engaged in a conversation with another diner patron sitting beside him at the counter, all while remaining completely calm. The knife was removed from his chest and he is expected to make a full recovery.
By curtisrx | Published:
December 14, 2009
Hello fiends,
Listen up Starbucks, this is what a coffee machine should look like. This Saeco Etienne Louis espresso machine is a gene-spliced abomination that looks like a cross between a futuristic sea mine and a classic sci-fi film. Now, if they were to set it up so it could detonate when somebody takes a cup without permission, well then it would be perfect. Who knows how much this thing costs, but just like a mine, it just might cost you an arm and a leg.
Enjoy,
~Curtis Rx
