101 Ways To Die: Remember When We Were Spontaneous, Now We’re Just Combustible

Hello fiends,

This is an excerpt from a little book of death poems I’m working on called “101 Ways To Die, Accidents, Murders, And Other Techniques To Lose A Life.” There will be many more of these to come in the near future.

Remember When We Were Spontaneous, Now We’re Just Combustible

There is nothing better
When your legs start to hurt
Than sitting in your recliner
After a day of hard work

A beer in one hand
Cigarette in the other
The television flickers
As sleep begins to smother

Your muscles unwind
Rapid heart beat slows down
Breath becomes shallow
Now only blackness surrounds

Your cold beverage spirals
To the carpet below
Followed by your cancer stick
And a flame begins to grow

It starts with the rug
Then moves toward the chair
Ignites your clothing
Then your body hair

You awaken much too late
In this situation most dire
Just to scream out loud
While you are consumed by fire

Thanks for reading,
~Curtis Rx

15 Responses to 101 Ways To Die: Remember When We Were Spontaneous, Now We’re Just Combustible

  1. MindlessZombie

    Well just think… now he can relax for the rest of his life without any worries :)

  2. Migratory Zombie

    Another to add to my long list of favourites…

    This one slightly reminds me of Green Day’s “F.O.D.”:
    “I heard you’re sick, sucked on that cancer stick. A throbbing tumor and a radiation high…”

  3. Kau

    well… the things is very bored in 50% of the life. 50%? is much ah? oh well…
    and the other you can eat and relax on the bed and look the stars
    and maybe drink with other crazy like you… a one cigarette please
    I try to stop and god ahahahaha my beer is not the same
    I del the TV and put the computer, listen songs and read
    or maybe like a dead looking the wall of the room for hours.
    so you want more gasoline?
    stop the work and only concentrate in the sky..
    the word of life is:
    “work less and live more only live more!”

  4. Arkham Angel

    I must confess to writing a series of short stories based upon your phenominal song “A Gorey Demise.” This piece was very intruiging. I felt as if I was truly experiencing such a grim demise.

  5. Mandieville666

    that’s why you don’t smoke inside.

  6. Quilleran

    I absolutly adore how casualy morbid that was.

  7. JaeJekyll

    I’ve always wanted to compile a work of as may ways to die as possible. Once I put together a good 15 pages of ways to die from chocolate. None of them were very nice. I wish I could find them. :[

    By the way, BOOM.

  8. BekkyS.

    well…..he had it comin’ is all i’m gonna say

  9. aaron bruce

    M is for marie who was burned to a crisp

  10. Mal

    When I was young, I remember…this happened to my father’s best friend.

  11. Amber

    This is how students should be warned away from cigarets if they want us so badly to avoid them then tell us of those who joined the brigade of Crispy Critters. Far more effective for the squeamish.

  12. Evanescent Espirit

    Haha, it’s probably not a good sign how loud I laughed at this. xD

  13. Jess

    I love this one! Abousolutely genius!

  14. Alexa X

    I probably shouldn’t have laughed at that 😀

  15. h.c.

    this is wickedly brillliant. i tip my hat to you, sir.

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