A Mysterious Hatbox Excluding The Aforementioned Hat

Hello Fiends,

Here is another excerpt from a little book of death poems I am writing called ‘101 Ways To Die, Accidents, Murders, And Other Techniques To Lose A Life’.

A Mysterious Hatbox Excluding The Aforementioned Hat

Happy birthday, happy birthday
Happy birthday to you
You told all your friends
Now what will they do

Excitement, anticipation
Building within your bones
A day of self-importance
And your ego has grown

What are they planning
Maybe a surprise party tonight
Perhaps a table full of gifts
So predictable, so trite

A ring from the door
The postman is here
A package on the doorstep
The contents unclear

No name, no address
Whatever could it be
From an old acquaintance
Or a branch of your family tree

As you rip off the lid
You just stand there and gawk
While you’re blown into pieces
By a bomb in a hatbox

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!


Thanks for reading,
~Curtis Rx

31 Responses to A Mysterious Hatbox Excluding The Aforementioned Hat

  1. MindlessZombie

    Imagine someone read this on there birthday. Oh, the irony!

  2. Is it bad that all your death poems make me giggle? Because they do. A lot.
    Oh well, if it’s wrong, I don’t want to be right!

    Love this. I can’t wait for the next one!

  3. kau

    1. I laugh! 2. This can happen! 3. BOOIMTHDAY
    I tell you in your space about 1.000…..0000… Ways to Love!
    xoxoxo

  4. XxCreatureFanXXxx

    I could see someone sending me this on my b-day. O_o

  5. BekkyS.

    HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! -says with retarded grin and full of stupidity- AKA being myself)

  6. well i see you got your brand new leopard skin pillbox hat – b. dylan
    a bomb in a hat box – c. rx

    i prefer curtis rx’s. just sayin….

  7. Lillian T.

    like most people on this website I laughed and I honestly couldn’t believe what I had just read. So I re-read it out loud and my uncle heard it and all he could say is, “That’s great!” with a smile on his face.
    this just might prove that everyone has a wicked sense of humour.

  8. MandyMystery

    My friends would do that to me without realizing the outcome would be lethal. >:l

  9. Callie

    Oh, how cute! I can’t wait for this book to be published. =]

  10. TiffanyxXxTerror

    Truly brilliant! I shall laugh myself to sleep tonight thinking of a few special people I would love to see blown to bits. Happy Hauntings Curtis RX!

  11. Dani

    Because birthdays in October are the most dangerous but their also the most entertaining.Actually,most people I’ve known that have October are very odd and at times crazy. O_o How do I know,I’m one of them =]

    Birthdays filled with gore,horrors,ghoulish creatures and the monster mash,just my type of party!!

  12. Kita

    Hey! My sister’s birthday is in a few days! I’m totally gonna read this to her.

  13. Metamorph

    Oh to send a bomb on someones birthday.. I must learn to build letter bombs..

  14. KittieCorpse

    Amazing, you inspire me so much. I think of your amazing work every time I write something. Thank You.

  15. Maci3_foo

    you just made my day man!
    brillant!

  16. I can’t think of anything witty to write — not that anything I’ve ever written is witty — so I’m just going to say this is brilliant and leave it at that.

  17. mandieville666

    great gift for that awful aunt of mine. i do think she’ll like it very much too.

  18. i love this one. it’s so full of ghoulish irony. very artistic.

  19. Morbidular

    I can just imagine the postman flinging his hands up and yelling “HAPPEH BIRTHDAY!”

  20. 6

    Nice. I would have read this last week.

  21. strangelilgirl

    I just sended this poem to my older brother, hes birthday is tomorrow =]

  22. Caz

    Haha tomorrow is my cousin’s birthday and I am SO gonna read him this poem x3
    <3

  23. Jess

    So amazing.
    You’ve got to admire the skill of the person who made the bomb, they timed it just right!

  24. britny haven

    i just love it

  25. Tay

    this poem is awesome, specially seeing as its my birthday in 4 days. ill be sure to watch out for mysterious boxes ^_^

  26. InsanityMassMurder

    Hehehe, gotta use that for a birthdaycard xD

  27. Samantha

    I read this the day after my birthday xD I’m glad I didn’t get /that/ as a present!
    I love your poetry, Curtis! It’s always awesome, just like the rest of your stuff =)

  28. Death's Demon

    I wouldn’t mind getting that on my birthday! Ahahaha!!

  29. Julie

    am I sick cuz that made me smile?

  30. Caitlin

    I’m scared now…. this was posted five days after my birthday…oh, this is ironic….. But I loved the poem!

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