In Kentucky, A 31-year-old woman faces charges of third degree assault after attacking a female deputy with her breast milk. The woman, who was originally arrested on public intoxication charges, was transferred to a local detention center where she was told to change into her jail uniform. Unable to change on her own due to the alcohol in her system, a female deputy had to help the prisoner out of her clothing. While the deputy was distracted, the suspect took the opportunity to squeeze her breast and squirt a thick stream of breast milk into the deputy’s eyes. Since breast milk is considered bio-hazard, the deputy was quickly rushed away for decontamination. The suspect attempted a second attack with her projectile breast milk, but was unsuccessful.
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Harken Strangers! So you’ve come here on this dark and stormy night to hear my dastardly little tale. Let me begin by saying, that no matter how shocking it may seem, every crimson ounce of it is true. I am an advocate of mischief and a creator of turmoil. I compose ghastly music based on eerie circumstance and delightful tragedy in the band Creature Feature and the band Rufus Rex. I direct strange films depicting ill-fated events and ghoulish irony. I am a writer of the macabre, as opposed to a revolver, I use a sharpened pencil to displace my brains. I gently squeeze the trigger and splatter the page with metaphor. Read, watch, and listen, you never know what wonderful terrible things you might unearth.
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17 Comments
lol!!!! im craving some cereal now mmmm
….I really wanna know where you find these stories. Because this oh so funny yet disgusting at the same time.
what? that mind it’s? just weird and arg and horrible… o.O
i heard that one on bob and tom earlier this week. a brilliant story!
Im so going to try that one day!!
That’s so amazing. Fightin’ off the swine in all new and exciting ways… Welcome to a new decade.
I’m not sure what’s more disturbing- the fact that she was drunk enough to do this and not unconscious, or the fact that you uploaded it, lmao.
Ah, I needed my daily dose of weird.
very intresting. think about the people who saw that they must have been freaked out of there minds
I just sat here staring at my computer with a look on my face that was obviously saying, “What the hell…?” Okay, That has to be one of the oddest things I have heard in awhile. Quite hilarious too…
God damn it! I am over sharing this state with these fucking people.
I don’t know whether to be disturbed or just laugh.
that would have been one hell of a thing to see
That’s hilarious! I just totally looked like an idiot laughing in the middle of Digital Art. Ahah
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Breast milk.
O_O WTF….
It’s a joke? xD
Boobs of evil xD