In Tennessee, one lucky councilman in the town of Tracy City finally achieved his livelong goal of becoming mayor, but there was just one hitch, he had died of a heart attack two weeks before the election. Even though the man was no longer living, that didn’t stop him from accumulating 268 votes, while his opponent received only 85. Local residents voted for the dead man in protest of the current mayor who, in strange twist of fate, was running for a second term after being appointed mayor when the previous one passed away. Until the city council appoints another new mayor, it seems that a dead man now holds office in the town of Tracy City.
In New York, police ticketed and eventually towed an illegally parked minivan sitting suspiciously outside a local funeral home, unaware that there was a body inside. The owner of the funeral home noticed that the van was missing the following afternoon and spent the day feverishly trying to track it down. Eventually he found the missing van at the local impound yard and had to explain to police that there was a body inside awaiting its flight home for a funeral. The mortuary placard on the van must have tipped over during the night and police believed the vehicle to be just another illegally park offender. After getting the van back, the funeral owner rushed the body to the airport just in time for its flight home. The impound yard waived the towing and storage fees, but the cost of the parking ticket still stands.
In London, a hacker wanted to prove to the world just how easy it is to fool a self-service passport scanner at the airport and was able to get clearance for a flight by using a fake passport issued to the King himself. Officials are claiming that the new passports being issued with biometric chips implanted in them that store facial, eye, and fingerprint maps of the user, are impossible to counterfeit, but one hacker wanted to prove otherwise. He created a false passport under the name of Elvis Presley and even made his own biometric chip with store bought supplies, all for less than a hundred dollars. The hacker also rigged it so a picture of Elvis would show up on the monitor display, proving the fact that the king of rock ‘n’ roll isn’t dead after all, he’s just doing some traveling.
In Kentucky, A 31-year-old woman faces charges of third degree assault after attacking a female deputy with her breast milk. The woman, who was originally arrested on public intoxication charges, was transferred to a local detention center where she was told to change into her jail uniform. Unable to change on her own due to the alcohol in her system, a female deputy had to help the prisoner out of her clothing. While the deputy was distracted, the suspect took the opportunity to squeeze her breast and squirt a thick stream of breast milk into the deputy’s eyes. Since breast milk is considered bio-hazard, the deputy was quickly rushed away for decontamination. The suspect attempted a second attack with her projectile breast milk, but was unsuccessful.
In California, A man was attacked with a meat thermometer and stabbed in the neck while watching a movie at his local theater. During the screening, the man told a woman sitting near him to shut off her cell phone because she was talking loudly and disturbing the other moviegoers. The unidentified woman grew furious after the verbal exchange and quickly exited the movie theater with two men in tow. After a few minutes passed, one of the men returned and stabbed the victim in the neck with a meat thermometer. The man then attacked two other patrons who tried to intervene before fleeing the scene. The victim has been hospitalized and the suspects are still on the loose.
By curtisrx | Published:
February 24, 2010
In Peru, an 88-year-old man woke up from an emergency amputation only to discover that his healthy foot had been accidentally cut off instead of his damaged one. The man had gone into the hospital to treat an ulcer and when the infection began to spread, doctors had no choice but schedule an amputation for the infected foot. In an horrible turn of events, doctors severed the wrong foot instead and after they realized their unfortunate mistake, they had to move quickly to remove the damaged one to keep the infection from spreading further. The hospital learned of their mistake after the patient’s daughter lifted his sheets and discovered that they had removed the wrong foot. All doctors involved in the botched surgery have been put on indefinite suspension and a thorough investigation has been launched.
By curtisrx | Published:
February 21, 2010
In Rome, a 77-year-old well-known host of a popular Italian morning cooking show has been suspended after he told audiences on live television that he has eaten cat stew on a several different occasions—and loved it. Much to the shock of his 27-year-old female co-host, the man went on to say ‘Cat, soaked for three days in the running water of a stream comes out with its meat white and I assure you I have eaten it many times, that it is a delicacy’. Due the fact that Cats are protected by law in Italy and the taboo nature of his announcement, the television host has been put on indefinite suspension.
By curtisrx | Published:
February 20, 2010
In Prague, a 66-year-old woman who lived with severe stomach pains for five long months finally discovered the source of her mysterious pain, a foot long surgical instrument lodged in her abdomen. The instrument was accidentally left inside her after an routine operation and when she told doctors that she was in constant pain, they accused her of being a hypochondriac and told her all they could do was prescribe pain killers. Whoever was in charge of the surgery’s paperwork and surgical tool list failed to document the missing instrument. The woman is now seeking compensation and claims that the hospital staff tried to cover up their medical malpractice.
By curtisrx | Published:
February 16, 2010
In Indonesia, a 31-year-old man was riding across town on his motorcycle when the cigarette he was smoking exploded in his mouth. The blast caused six of his teeth to blow out and extensive damage to his lip that resulted in fifty one stitches. Authorities are still unsure of what actually caused the blast, but the remains of the cigarette were sent to a forensic laboratory for further testing. The man, who had been smoking since he was a schoolboy and had never had a single problem, has received compensation of $535 and the full cost of his medical bills. After the whole ordeal, he now vows to quit smoking for good.
By curtisrx | Published:
February 13, 2010
In Russia, a 73-year-old man finally had enough of trespassers pillaging his garden in an attempt to to steal his precious potatoes and decided to take matters into his own hands. The man constructed three homemade tripwire landmines in his garage and planted them sporadically throughout the garden to ward off any unwanted visitors. Police learned off the explosives after an unlucky trespasser snuck into the garden and set of one of the crude landmines, injuring himself in the blast. The elderly man was convicted of unlawful construction of weapons and slapped with a 2 ½ year sentence.
By curtisrx | Published:
February 10, 2010
In Berlin, a new breed of criminal was born after a man successfully robbed a video arcade using only a hot cup of coffee as his weapon. The man casually walked into the arcade, order the coffee, then threatened to hit the female employee over the head with it unless she opened up the register and handed over all the cash. Authorities believe that the robber probably hadn’t planned on committing a heist that night, but after noticing the young woman working alone, she became an easy target for him. It is unknown how much money the man made off with and police are worried about other would-be robbers committing similar crimes. The espresso bandit has successfully evaded capture and is still on the loose.
By curtisrx | Published:
February 8, 2010
In New Zealand, a 58-year-old German man was arrested for trying to smuggle 44 rare lizards onto an overseas flight by stashing the reptiles in his underwear. An investigation into the man’s flight history showed that he had made five separate trips to New Zealand for the sole purpose of exploiting a protected species of geckos which can carry a price tag of nearly $3000. The man was arrested and will spend 14 weeks in a New Zealand prison before he’s deported back to Germany with a fine of $3,540, but could have easily ended up with the maximum sentence of six months in prison and a staggering penalty of $355,000.
By curtisrx | Published:
February 5, 2010
Did you know that most sharks can can detect a drop of blood in the water from 2.5 miles away and can grow a new set of teeth in a week?
By curtisrx | Published:
February 4, 2010
In Nairobi, a Kenyan farm manager was working overtime during the weekend when a 13-foot python coiled around him and dragged him up a tree. The man stated that he was walking down an overgrown path when he stepped on something spongy lying on the ground and then suddenly he was entangled by the huge snake. Fearing his imminent death by strangulation, the man struggled to break free of the python’s iron grip by biting a chunk out of the its tail and smothering it with his t-shirt. Eventually the man was able to pull his cell phone free from his pocket and call for help. Police quickly arrived on the scene and managed to tie a rope around the python and yank both of them out of the tree. The python was captured and placed into a sack, but escaped on three separate occasions before making a clean getaway.
By curtisrx | Published:
February 4, 2010
In Jerusalem, a young Tel Aviv woman decided to do a good deed and buy her mother a brand new mattress as a gift, but didn’t realized that there was $1 million in cash tucked away inside of the old mattress that she nonchalantly threw into the trash. The young woman woke up the following morning remembering a conversation where her mother told her that she had been hiding her entire life savings in the old mattress because of a terrible experience she had with a bank in the past. By the time the woman had realized her life altering mistake, the mattress had already been picked up and taken to the local dump. The woman searched through three different landfill to no avail, twenty-five hundred tons of garbage arrives to the dumps per day and the chance of finding the mattress is equivalent to a needle in a haystack.
