In New York, police ticketed and eventually towed an illegally parked minivan sitting suspiciously outside a local funeral home, unaware that there was a body inside. The owner of the funeral home noticed that the van was missing the following afternoon and spent the day feverishly trying to track it down. Eventually he found the missing van at the local impound yard and had to explain to police that there was a body inside awaiting its flight home for a funeral. The mortuary placard on the van must have tipped over during the night and police believed the vehicle to be just another illegally park offender. After getting the van back, the funeral owner rushed the body to the airport just in time for its flight home. The impound yard waived the towing and storage fees, but the cost of the parking ticket still stands.
In London, a hacker wanted to prove to the world just how easy it is to fool a self-service passport scanner at the airport and was able to get clearance for a flight by using a fake passport issued to the King himself. Officials are claiming that the new passports being issued with biometric chips implanted in them that store facial, eye, and fingerprint maps of the user, are impossible to counterfeit, but one hacker wanted to prove otherwise. He created a false passport under the name of Elvis Presley and even made his own biometric chip with store bought supplies, all for less than a hundred dollars. The hacker also rigged it so a picture of Elvis would show up on the monitor display, proving the fact that the king of rock ‘n’ roll isn’t dead after all, he’s just doing some traveling.
In Kentucky, A 31-year-old woman faces charges of third degree assault after attacking a female deputy with her breast milk. The woman, who was originally arrested on public intoxication charges, was transferred to a local detention center where she was told to change into her jail uniform. Unable to change on her own due to the alcohol in her system, a female deputy had to help the prisoner out of her clothing. While the deputy was distracted, the suspect took the opportunity to squeeze her breast and squirt a thick stream of breast milk into the deputy’s eyes. Since breast milk is considered bio-hazard, the deputy was quickly rushed away for decontamination. The suspect attempted a second attack with her projectile breast milk, but was unsuccessful.
In California, A man was attacked with a meat thermometer and stabbed in the neck while watching a movie at his local theater. During the screening, the man told a woman sitting near him to shut off her cell phone because she was talking loudly and disturbing the other moviegoers. The unidentified woman grew furious after the verbal exchange and quickly exited the movie theater with two men in tow. After a few minutes passed, one of the men returned and stabbed the victim in the neck with a meat thermometer. The man then attacked two other patrons who tried to intervene before fleeing the scene. The victim has been hospitalized and the suspects are still on the loose.
Hello Fiends,
Here is another excerpt from a little book of death poems I am writing called ‘101 Ways To Die, Accidents, Murders, And Other Techniques To Lose A Life’. I wrote this after I overheard one of my neighbors complaining about a tree that was hanging over into his yard and dropping leaves on his lawn. Enjoy!
If A Tree Falls In A Forest, Can You Still Hear The Screams?
The seasons are a changing
Shedding dead autumn leaves
They tumble through the air
On a mission to flee
You rake and you rake
But they just reappear
That damn neighbor’s tree
You tell him each year
Click The Title Above To Read More!
