In California, An 18-year-old man was hospitalized with head injuries when the Christmas tree he was street surfing on crashed into a parked car. The tree was tied to the back of an SUV and dragged across a parking lot at nearly 30 mph while the man held on for dear life. The driver took a corner too sharp causing the tree to swing wide and collide with a parked car. Before police could arrive on the scene, the female driver of the SUV fled and has not yet been identified. The injured man was hospitalized and is expected to survive.
En Mexico, while en route to the town of Morelia, three circus tigers managed to escape from the Circo Aquilar Hermanos traveling circus after their cages broke open. One tiger was caught instantly, but the other two managed to evade circus workers and disappear into the surrounding mountainside. This isn’t the first time an incident like this has happened in Mexico, throughout the years traveling circuses have lost camels, tigers, buffalo, an elephant, and a lion. Most of the missing animals were never found and even now still roam the countryside. The chupacabra should be the least of your worries.
In Michigan, a 52-year-old man with a 5-inch steak knife sticking out of his chest, walked into a Detroit diner and ordered a cup of coffee while he casually waited for the ambulance he called earlier to pick him up. He was attacked and stabbed a mile from the diner when he refused to hand over his wallet to a would-be mugger. After the man failed at trying to find help in a nearby apartment complex, he called 911 from a pay phone and told them to just meet him at a hamburger stand down the street. Then, with the knife lodged in his chest all the way up to the handle, the man strolled a mile to the diner, enjoyed a nice hot cup of coffee, and even engaged in a conversation with another diner patron sitting beside him at the counter, all while remaining completely calm. The knife was removed from his chest and he is expected to make a full recovery.
In Washington, somebody took the term “give only what you can” a little too far when they donated a stick of dynamite to the First Presbyterian Church of Kelso’s garage sale drive. The pastor was sorting through items preparing for their yearly Christmas party when he came upon the stick of dynamite sitting on a bookcase all by itself. Police were alerted and the bomb squad was called in to assess the situation. The stick of dynamite was carefully removed and the church was checked for clues and other possible explosives. Authorities believe that the dynamite was not left there with malicious intent, but instead donated by somebody who actually thought it would be a good idea to sell the explosive at the church’s garage sale. Who and where the dynamite came from is still a mystery, but after getting the clean bill of health, the church proceeded with their annual Christmas party and everybody had a blast.
Hello fiends, Take a look at how amazing this sleeping bag is! This twisted creation crawled out of the brilliantly fractured brain of an Amsterdam based designer named Eiko Ishizawa and is definitely a delectably disturbing sight to see. I promise to grant perpetual youth to anybody who drops one of these off at my [...]
Check these guys out! Kinda makes me want to grow a mustache and see how the other half lives.
Mark my words, someday I will start a club like this for people of the sideburned variety. We will assembly monthly over cocktails to speak of our many adventures, compare notes on the whereabouts of Bigfoot, unearth hidden treasures from around the world, and decode ancient riddles that have stumped mankind for ages. From time to time, we will also touch upon subjects such as; the art of dueling, celestial navigation, prestidigitation, spectral analysis, occult practices predating the 20th century, and electromagnetism with special attention to the work of Nikola Tesla in the areas of time travel and matter manipulation.
Did you know that the phrase “Rule Of Thumb” was derived from an archaic English law that stated you could not beat your wife with anything wider than your thumb?
In Brazil, a 2-year-old boy was rushed to the hospital after complaining of sharp pains and labored breathing. Doctors immediately began performing tests to find the source of the mysterious pain, but nothing could have prepared them for what they discovered on the x-rays. The small boy had over 50 sewing needles lodged inside his body, ranging from a half-inch to over 2-inches in length. All parties involved are stumped on how the needles made it into the boy’s body in the first place, but doctors theorize that it would have been impossible to swallow them as a whole because they pierced parts of the body that couldn’t have been reach by ingestion. Instead, the needles must have been inserted one by one over a period of time. The mysteries didn’t end there, doctors also found no signs of needle marks, wounds, or trauma to the outside of the boy’s body.
In Colorado, a 29-year-old man faked his own stabbing because he didn’t feel like working his scheduled night shift at Blockbuster Video. The man crawled into work with multiple stab wounds to his legs and claimed that he had been attacked on his way to work by three skinheads dressed entirely in black. Unfortunately for the man, surveillance cameras from a nearby Target store show the man shopping in perfect health, disproving his earlier claim. When police confronted the man with this newly found evidence, he quickly recanted his story. The man confessed to stabbing himself multiple times so he wouldn’t have to go to work and was sent to jail, where he won’t have to worry about punching a time card.
Listen up Starbucks, this is what a coffee machine should look like. This Saeco Etienne Louis espresso machine is a gene-spliced abomination that looks like a cross between a futuristic sea mine and a classic sci-fi film. Now, if they were to set it up so it could detonate when somebody takes a cup without permission, well then it would be perfect. Who knows how much this thing costs, but just like a mine, it just might cost you an arm and a leg.
I just wanted to let everybody know about my latest discovery, the greatest photograph of Freddie Mercury, EVER. If you’re a Queen fan, you’ll rejoice. If you’re not a Queen fan, then hopefully this will make a believer out of you.
Mark my words, someday I will pay somebody to recreate an exact replica of that eyeball jumpsuit, which I will wear often.
In Massachusetts, a 98-year-old woman has been indicted in the murder of her 100-year-old roommate at a nursing home where they were both residents. Authorities say that the women strangled her roommate with a plastic shopping bag after getting in a heated argument about the placement of a small table at the foot of her bed. Her roommate complained that the table obstructed the path to the restroom and repetitively told nurses to move it, which set of a series of small battles between the two roomies that eventually lead to murder. The woman has been sent to a state hospital for evaluation.
In Stockholm, a man was released after spending 10 days in jail for the the alleged murder of his 63-year-old wife. Authorities say that her body was found on a forest path by the couple’s home and the prime suspect was initially thought to be the husband. Fortunately for the man, strange forensic evidence proved that he was innocent of the horrible crime and it has now come to light that the woman was indeed murdered by a moose while on her late night stroll. Moose Saliva and numerous hairs were found on the victim’s clothing and at the scene of the crime.
In Florida, a 53-year-old woman was arrested and charged with abuse of a disabled adult after hitting her wheelchair-bound boyfriend in the head with an uncooked 16-ounce steak. The altercation began with the man requested a roll with his dinner instead of the piece of sliced bread he was offered. Fueled by the Port Wine the woman had consumed, the argument became so heated that she struck her boyfriend on the head and slapped him across the face with the raw sirloin. The woman told officials that she did it “so he could learn” and is being on $2,500 bail. The steak declined medical assistance.
Harken Strangers! So you’ve come here on this dark and stormy night to hear my dastardly little tale. Let me begin by saying, that no matter how shocking it may seem, every crimson ounce of it is true. I am an advocate of mischief and a creator of turmoil. I compose ghastly music based on eerie circumstance and delightful tragedy in the band Creature Feature and the band Rufus Rex. I direct strange films depicting ill-fated events and ghoulish irony. I am a writer of the macabre, as opposed to a revolver, I use a sharpened pencil to displace my brains. I gently squeeze the trigger and splatter the page with metaphor. Read, watch, and listen, you never know what wonderful terrible things you might unearth.
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In California, An 18-year-old man was hospitalized with head injuries when the Christmas tree he was street surfing on crashed into a parked car. The tree was tied to the back of an SUV and dragged across a parking lot at nearly 30 mph while the man held on for dear life. The driver took a corner too sharp causing the tree to swing wide and collide with a parked car. Before police could arrive on the scene, the female driver of the SUV fled and has not yet been identified. The injured man was hospitalized and is expected to survive.
