By curtisrx | Published:
August 26, 2009
In Australia, a 58-year-old man was the unwillingly punchline of a prank gone wrong when he decided to use the public bathroom at a shopping mall. He became permanently stuck to a toilet seat after a prankster smeared fast acting glue over its surface. Paramedics were called to the scene and had to physically remove the man for the toilet, seat and all. He was then rushed to the hospital where doctors applied industrial solvents to remove the seat from his skin. Other than embarrassment, the man walk away without injury.
By curtisrx | Published:
August 24, 2009
In Ohio, a 28-year-old man tried to rob to the owner of a convenience store for selling him subpar beef jerky that gave himself and his dog an upset stomach. The owner under attack instantly recognized the robber as the resident barber who works only two doors down from the convenience store and chased him away with a baseball bat. The culprit was easily apprehended since the arresting officer had received numerous haircuts from the barber-turned-robber in the past.
By curtisrx | Published:
August 24, 2009
In Florida, a 44-year-old man attacked his roommate with a coconut after he failed to pay back money he had borrowed. A struggle ensued and the roommate, escaping from the flavorful onslaught, went directly to the police. The attacker was found shortly after riding his bicycle around the neighborhood while under the influence of alcohol. He was charged with robbery with a weapon and is currently being held on $4,000 bail.
By curtisrx | Published:
August 24, 2009
In Iowa, A 64-year-old woman was stranded on a small inflatable raft for five days with nothing more than a bottle of water and two cans of Mountain Dew to sustain her life. It all started during a routine fishing trip along the raging waters of the Wapsipinicon river when her raft got hung-up on a submerged pile of tangled brush hiding just below the water’s surface. Unable to escape to the flooded river bank and pinned between a logjam and a 12-foot rock wall, the woman waiting for rescue as dehydration set in. She could hear nearby traffic and people talking as they passed by, but nobody heard her hoarse cries for help. Five days passed before a fisherman spotted her— she just happened to be caught up at his favorite fishing hole.
By curtisrx | Published:
August 23, 2009
In Israel, mermaid sightings have begun to take the news by storm, causing hundreds to flock to the Kiryat Yam coast on the off chance that they might witness the mythological creature in all its glory. Witness reports claim that the a half girl, half fish appears at sunset and dazzles onlookers with water tricks, then returns to the murky depths of the ocean. Another witness report claims that a peculiar looking woman was spotting sunbathing on the local beach and quickly dove into the water, tail and all, after becoming startled by approaching beachgoers. The local government has offered up a staggering sum of $1,000,000 for the first person with photographic proof of the elusive creature.
By curtisrx | Published:
August 22, 2009
In Miami, a 43-year-old woman walked into the Mall of the Americas carrying a container of flammable liquid and begin to douse her clothing with it. She then proceeded to light herself on fire and casually walk around the mall as horrified shoppers watched the flames engulf her body. Witness reports state that two fire extinguishers were used on the woman and after about two minutes, she just walked right out of the mall. She was later found lying in the parking lot with third-degree burns covering 75 percent of her body. It is still a mystery as to why this woman set herself on fire in the first place.
By curtisrx | Published:
August 22, 2009
Did you know that in English gambling dens during the eighteenth century there was always an employee whose sole job was to swallow the dice in the event of a police raid?
By curtisrx | Published:
August 20, 2009
In Thailand, a 48-year-old female elephant named Motola is finally getting a prosthetic leg after ten years of hobbling around on only three legs. In 1999, Motola underwent dozens of painful surgeries to amputate her leg after it became horribly mangled from stepping on a hidden landmine. The Prostheses Foundation stepped forward to right a wrong by constructing a permanent artificial leg that will now be able to support her 3-ton frame. A cast has been taken of Motola’s leg and she will be fitted with different weight prosthetic devices to help build her muscles back up to the point where she will easily be able to carry the final prosthetic, as if it were her own.
By curtisrx | Published:
August 19, 2009
In Royal Oak, MI the worlds largest cupcake was born, weighing in at 1,224 pounds and 2,000,000 calories, completely annihilating the previous world record of 151 pounds. The vanilla behemoth with pink frosting consisted of 1000 eggs, 200 pounds of sugar, 200 pounds of flour, and 200 pounds of butter. The cupcake was so massive that it had to be moved with a refrigerator truck and a forklift. The team had originally planned to make a 7,000 pound cupcake consisting of 17,000 eggs, 2,000 pounds of sugar, 2000 pounds of flour, and 2,000 pounds of butter, but failed when the weight of the batter collapsed on itself, damaging the custom oven built for the cavity inducing feat.
By curtisrx | Published:
August 18, 2009
In Berlin, a customer shopping at a ‘discount’ grocery store discovered a very strange ingredient in the prepackaged salad section. The customer, having a background in botany, was mulling over a decision for his nightly greens, when he discovered the chopped up stems of a highly poisonous weed mixed in with the otherwise harmless mixtures of lettuce. The plant, when ingested in large amounts, can cause extensive liver damage. The tainted bags of salad were immediately taken off the shelf and samples of the stems sent to the University of Bonn for testing. The results showed that in 150 grams of the prepacked salad, there was 2,500 times more than the recommended daily allowance of the poisonous weed.
By curtisrx | Published:
August 17, 2009
In Glendora, Ca a 56-year-old man caused the already horrendous Los Angeles traffic to come to a screeching halt when he began to toss money onto a the freeway like confetti. As the fluttering bills rained down on the concrete, people swarmed the lanes to snatch it. Shortly after, the man showed up at the Azusa Police Department and told officers he wanted to kill himself. CHP officers recovered over $1,000 of the displaced money and the suspect was taken into custody for mental evaluation. Authorities are asking anyone who was opportunistic enough to collect the money to promptly return it.
By curtisrx | Published:
August 16, 2009
A 29-year-old factory worker from Kobe, Japan was arrested this weekend after he burned down the home he lived in with his mother during a suicide attempt. The clearly disturbed man showered his bedroom in kerosene and set fire to it after discovering that his mother had tossed all his prized Gundam models into the trash. The man and his 55-year-old mother were both unharmed, but the same could not be said for the house, which was reduced to cinder and smoke.
By curtisrx | Published:
August 13, 2009
A New Jersey woman, while on a relaxing stroll along the seashore, came upon a strange object lying on the boardwalk. Upon closer examination, she quickly realized that she was staring down at a decomposed finger with an acrylic, french-manicured nail on the tip. Police were called to the scene and quickly sent the finger off to the Medical Examiner’s office. While awaiting the results, Police began to scour the missing persons database in search of possible leads, thinking that it might have been dropped there by a bird who had picked it up in the surrounding area. Mystery already surrounded the case of the severed finger, but things only got weirder when a forensic anthropologist studied the decomposed object and determined that it was neither human nor animal, but instead was made of an unidentified substance. What do you think it is?
By curtisrx | Published:
August 13, 2009
Did you know that in Turkey during the 16th and 17th centuries anyone caught drinking coffee was put to death?
~Curtis Rx
By curtisrx | Published:
August 13, 2009
In Delaware, a new form of criminal stalks the streets. According to reports, four people have been attacked by a mysterious shooter armed with a blow dart gun. Early Tuesday, a cyclist was shot in the thigh during his morning ride and the dart lodged two inches into his flesh. A second cyclist stepped forward after seeing the headline on the news to say that she was also shot by a blow dart, but this time in the neck. By Wednesday two more victims had stepped forward, including one was shot in the hand and will require surgery to repair the damage. A single clue has emerged in this strange case, two of the victims claimed to have seen a white pickup truck parked in the vicinity at the time of the attacks.
